Tuesday, mei 2009
hati atau logika?
seharusnya saya tahu dari awal,
hati itu tidak akan pernah melebur menjadi satu,
hati saya dan hatinya.
seharusnya saya tahu dari awal,
tujuan dia dengan saya sangat berbeda,
saya mau dia,sementara dia menjadikan saya sebagai ban cadangan,
yang selalu ada di belakang,
dan tidak pernah absen saat ia butuhkan.
seharusnya saya tahu dari awal.
dua hari memang bukan waktu yang cukup untuk mengenal orang bukan?
tapi tahukah dia,saya sudah bisa membacanya dalam dua hari ini.
wajah itu sudah tidak menyunggingkan senyum malu malu seperti yang waktu itu ia sodorkan ke muka saya.
saya tahu ia sudah berhenti meminta hati saya
mata itu tak lagi memancarkan hangat yang sama,
saya tahu api itu sudah mulai mereda.
lalu sekarang dia maunya apa?
hari ini menebar pesona dengan si A,
besoknya teman saya terpikat dia,
lalu besoknya lagi,
dia kembali pada saya.
lalu saya harus bagaimana?
logika saya berkata :
dia tidak pantas
hati saya berkata :
temani dia,jangan pergi kemana mana
maka saya biarkan hati dan logika saya adu kekuatan
logika saya kalah dan pergi menguap bersama asap.
bagaimanapun juga hati tak bisa lama berkuasa,
saya lelah berusaha selalu ada sementara kamu berganti ganti wanita,
berganti subjek pesona
kawan,maukah kamu membantu saya menemukan logika?
hati itu tidak akan pernah melebur menjadi satu,
hati saya dan hatinya.
seharusnya saya tahu dari awal,
tujuan dia dengan saya sangat berbeda,
saya mau dia,sementara dia menjadikan saya sebagai ban cadangan,
yang selalu ada di belakang,
dan tidak pernah absen saat ia butuhkan.
seharusnya saya tahu dari awal.
dua hari memang bukan waktu yang cukup untuk mengenal orang bukan?
tapi tahukah dia,saya sudah bisa membacanya dalam dua hari ini.
wajah itu sudah tidak menyunggingkan senyum malu malu seperti yang waktu itu ia sodorkan ke muka saya.
saya tahu ia sudah berhenti meminta hati saya
mata itu tak lagi memancarkan hangat yang sama,
saya tahu api itu sudah mulai mereda.
lalu sekarang dia maunya apa?
hari ini menebar pesona dengan si A,
besoknya teman saya terpikat dia,
lalu besoknya lagi,
dia kembali pada saya.
lalu saya harus bagaimana?
logika saya berkata :
dia tidak pantas
hati saya berkata :
temani dia,jangan pergi kemana mana
maka saya biarkan hati dan logika saya adu kekuatan
logika saya kalah dan pergi menguap bersama asap.
bagaimanapun juga hati tak bisa lama berkuasa,
saya lelah berusaha selalu ada sementara kamu berganti ganti wanita,
berganti subjek pesona
kawan,maukah kamu membantu saya menemukan logika?
Sunday, ......
so it started when i saw you near the stair, a friend of mine teased me,you were by his side
i looked at you,you looked at me
that time i realized,you have a very lovely smile
i like you in a weird way, i wished i could meet you every single times,but we rarely met.
i talked to you for the very first time on holiday,
i lost my words,my heart can't stop beat faster,
i care about you but you don't get it
i put my trust on you
i remembered it was friday,i met you all the times,you made me blush and i can't even write it here because i really wanna keep it by myself.
i like you but that day i lied.
i left and never look back.
i don't have any brave to see into your eyes and ask for the truth.
you don't have to let me know about that.
i put my trust on you
almost two months,this feeling became stronger,well you know i knew but you decided to leave
i stunned.
once again i lied to myself,told that i will survive no matter how it hurts when i saw you make her laugh,maybe you have the same interests with her, eventhough we have it too
i put my trust on you
then once i saw you with another girl, not the same girl who used to be your crush two weeks ago
i asked my friends confusely about your relationship.
they said you're a bastard because you flirted with so many girls
they said you're an alligator.
still
i put my trust on you
i had a phone conversation with my friend last night, we talked about our planns for new year
carefully she asked me about you.
i told honestly that i love you,i really do.
she asked me whether if i will wait.
i told her ,yes i'll try,however hard it is,maybe i will.
she was there two months ago,and it makes her wandering:
what if i didn't lie
what i gave you another signs
what if i said i have a thing for you
i told her to stop babbling around,i don't need another guilty feeling.
she grumpled but then silent.
however
i will still put my trust on you
i looked at you,you looked at me
that time i realized,you have a very lovely smile
i like you in a weird way, i wished i could meet you every single times,but we rarely met.
i talked to you for the very first time on holiday,
i lost my words,my heart can't stop beat faster,
i care about you but you don't get it
i put my trust on you
i remembered it was friday,i met you all the times,you made me blush and i can't even write it here because i really wanna keep it by myself.
i like you but that day i lied.
i left and never look back.
i don't have any brave to see into your eyes and ask for the truth.
you don't have to let me know about that.
i put my trust on you
almost two months,this feeling became stronger,well you know i knew but you decided to leave
i stunned.
once again i lied to myself,told that i will survive no matter how it hurts when i saw you make her laugh,maybe you have the same interests with her, eventhough we have it too
i put my trust on you
then once i saw you with another girl, not the same girl who used to be your crush two weeks ago
i asked my friends confusely about your relationship.
they said you're a bastard because you flirted with so many girls
they said you're an alligator.
still
i put my trust on you
i had a phone conversation with my friend last night, we talked about our planns for new year
carefully she asked me about you.
i told honestly that i love you,i really do.
she asked me whether if i will wait.
i told her ,yes i'll try,however hard it is,maybe i will.
she was there two months ago,and it makes her wandering:
what if i didn't lie
what i gave you another signs
what if i said i have a thing for you
i told her to stop babbling around,i don't need another guilty feeling.
she grumpled but then silent.
however
i will still put my trust on you
Wednesday, .....
i love love itself i love the way you teased me,not because you're looking for my attention but simply because you want to.
i love the way you smiled at me when i told you that this is my lowest point.
i love the way you adored me without looks so miserable and however it makes me feel so comfortable.
i love the way you loved me,you're not saying it out loud but you showed it without any cliche words.
i love everything in you,
except the part that now you're leaving me.
i love the way you smiled at me when i told you that this is my lowest point.
i love the way you adored me without looks so miserable and however it makes me feel so comfortable.
i love the way you loved me,you're not saying it out loud but you showed it without any cliche words.
i love everything in you,
except the part that now you're leaving me.
Saturday, .....
saya mau kamu mau
tadi malam saya hampa,
sama seperti malam malam sebelumnya.
di sekitar saya ramai seperti pasar,namun wajah saya sakit seperti ditampar.
hati saya juga.
saya ingat samar-samar,saya mencium bau kamu,
terasa nyata,sampai sampai saya merasa kamu ada di hadapan.
tahukah kawan,
tadi malam di tengah tengah pembicaraan,
tentang sushi,bahrain,ataupun bir bintang,
fikiran saya tidak bisa berhenti melayang.
saya memang tertawa,saya juga terus bermain kata,
jujur saja itu bukan jaminan,
buat hati saya untuk melupakan
malam itu saya sedikit berharap,bagaimanapun juga kamu akan menetap
di samping saya,
atau paling tidak,untuk saat ini kamu akan ada
sampai hampir tengah malam,
saat minuman telah habis dan asap rokok mulai menipis,
kamu tak kunjung datang,
saya mulai tertunduk,tak berani memasang muka menantang.
kamu tahu saya ingin tahu dimana kamu berada,
kamu tahu saya ingin tahu dengan siapa kamu menghabiskan malam bersama,
kamu tahu saya tahu lalu mengapa kamu tidak berkata apa apa?
kamu tahu saya mau kamu.
sama seperti malam malam sebelumnya.
di sekitar saya ramai seperti pasar,namun wajah saya sakit seperti ditampar.
hati saya juga.
saya ingat samar-samar,saya mencium bau kamu,
terasa nyata,sampai sampai saya merasa kamu ada di hadapan.
tahukah kawan,
tadi malam di tengah tengah pembicaraan,
tentang sushi,bahrain,ataupun bir bintang,
fikiran saya tidak bisa berhenti melayang.
saya memang tertawa,saya juga terus bermain kata,
jujur saja itu bukan jaminan,
buat hati saya untuk melupakan
malam itu saya sedikit berharap,bagaimanapun juga kamu akan menetap
di samping saya,
atau paling tidak,untuk saat ini kamu akan ada
sampai hampir tengah malam,
saat minuman telah habis dan asap rokok mulai menipis,
kamu tak kunjung datang,
saya mulai tertunduk,tak berani memasang muka menantang.
kamu tahu saya ingin tahu dimana kamu berada,
kamu tahu saya ingin tahu dengan siapa kamu menghabiskan malam bersama,
kamu tahu saya tahu lalu mengapa kamu tidak berkata apa apa?
kamu tahu saya mau kamu.
Friday, ......
di depan Tuhan
hari ini saya seperti merasakan,
indahnya berdialog dengan Tuhan
dengan kecepatan bicara saya yang diatas rata rata,entah bagaimana ia selalu mendengarkan
saya menceritakan tentang keinginan saya,mimpi saya untuk menetap di kota New york dengan keluarga,
mimpi saya untuk menjadi seorang desainer ternama,
mimpi saya untuk menjadi seorang ibu yang bersahaja.
Ia tidak tertawa,Ia terus menyimak saya.
lalu pada akhirnya Ia berkata,kamu pasti bisa.
saya kembali bercerita,
tentang hati saya yang sungguh sedang terluka,
'' orang ini Tuhan,yang membuat airmata saya berlinangan,yang membuat saya tak sudi menyentuh makanan,yang membuat saya kehilangan akal fikiran ''
saya menunjuk sebuah sosok tinggi yang terlihat,
Tuhan terdiam,membuat saya segan,
maka saya berhenti mengeluh.
kemudian saya kembali bertutur,tentang fikiran saya yang mudah melantur,
tentang fisika saya yang hanya tersentuh 11 dari total 30 nomer,
tentang kerinduan saya pada papa saya,
tentang kerinduan saya pada Tuhan.
saya berjanji dengan sepenuh hati,
mulai besok saya akan rutin bercerita 5 kali sehari.
indahnya berdialog dengan Tuhan
dengan kecepatan bicara saya yang diatas rata rata,entah bagaimana ia selalu mendengarkan
saya menceritakan tentang keinginan saya,mimpi saya untuk menetap di kota New york dengan keluarga,
mimpi saya untuk menjadi seorang desainer ternama,
mimpi saya untuk menjadi seorang ibu yang bersahaja.
Ia tidak tertawa,Ia terus menyimak saya.
lalu pada akhirnya Ia berkata,kamu pasti bisa.
saya kembali bercerita,
tentang hati saya yang sungguh sedang terluka,
'' orang ini Tuhan,yang membuat airmata saya berlinangan,yang membuat saya tak sudi menyentuh makanan,yang membuat saya kehilangan akal fikiran ''
saya menunjuk sebuah sosok tinggi yang terlihat,
Tuhan terdiam,membuat saya segan,
maka saya berhenti mengeluh.
kemudian saya kembali bertutur,tentang fikiran saya yang mudah melantur,
tentang fisika saya yang hanya tersentuh 11 dari total 30 nomer,
tentang kerinduan saya pada papa saya,
tentang kerinduan saya pada Tuhan.
saya berjanji dengan sepenuh hati,
mulai besok saya akan rutin bercerita 5 kali sehari.
Thursday, .....
saya bukan
kami wanita,memang selalu peka.
selalu tahu kapan waktu untuk bicara,kapan waktu harus berdusta.
kami wanita,memang pintar bersandiwara,bermain kata,namun hati tak sanggup angkat suara.
kamu tidak pernah tahu isi hati saya.
kamu tidak tahu dan tidak mencoba untuk mengetahui bagaimana rasanya,
ditinggalkan.
digantungkan.
diperlakukan dengan semena mena.
kamu menganggap anggukan saya berarti iya,dan gelengan kepala ini berarti tidak.
dunia tak se-klise itu,sayang.
saya bukan wanita sembarangan,
yang bisa kamu goda lalu tinggalkan.
saya juga bukan wanita gampangan,
yang saat kamu dekati,langsung bisa kamu dapatkan.
tapi tahukah kamu,saya juga punya perasaan.
jangan pernah kamu mencoba menggoda bila akhirnya akan pergi juga.
sadarkah kamu,saya juga bisa terluka?
katakan sayang,apa yang harus saya lakukan,
bila debar hati ini sudah tidak dapat berkompromi,
dengan akal dan pikiran.
lalu katakan sayang,apa yang harus saya lakukan,
bila hati ini sudah terlanjur kamu genggam namun kamu campakkan dan kamu tendang ke dekat gudang.
saya mau kamu katakan sayang,apa yang harus saya lakukan,
bila saat saya mencoba melupakan dan memulihkan,kamu sudah berada di dekat perempuan lain di depan mata kepala saya.
saya hancur,tapi berusaha bangkit.
salah seorang teman berkata :
'' bosan ku dipermainkan cintamu ''
berulang ulang ia katakan sampai saya pusing dan mabuk kepayang.
kata kata itu merasuk bagaikan asap,membuat saya tersugesti.
membuat saya terus berkata bosan ku dipermainkan cintamu.
kamu boleh pergi,sayang.
kamu sudah tidak saya butuhkan.
biarkan saya tenang dan mengambil pelajaran,
lain kali janganlah mudah dibohongi.
larilah sayang,lari yang kencang.
sampai putus nafasmu,sampai hilang bau keringatmu dari hadapan,
agar saya tahu,kali ini tidak ada lagi harapan.
jika kamu membaca ini,kamu boleh mencibir dan menertawakan,
saya akui,saat itu saya lengah sehingga mudah terjatuh dalam jebakan,
tapi lain kali sayang,saya akan membuat kamu merasakan,
perasaan yang sama namun rasanya berjuta kali lebih menyakitkan.
maki saya sayang,maki saya.
bilang saya murahan.
bilang saya bajingan.
bilang saja,perkataan kami wanita memang tidak bisa dipegang.
kalau menurut kamu semua wanita seperti itu,
dengan senang hati saya bisikkan ke telingamu sayang,
bahwa saya bukan.
selalu tahu kapan waktu untuk bicara,kapan waktu harus berdusta.
kami wanita,memang pintar bersandiwara,bermain kata,namun hati tak sanggup angkat suara.
kamu tidak pernah tahu isi hati saya.
kamu tidak tahu dan tidak mencoba untuk mengetahui bagaimana rasanya,
ditinggalkan.
digantungkan.
diperlakukan dengan semena mena.
kamu menganggap anggukan saya berarti iya,dan gelengan kepala ini berarti tidak.
dunia tak se-klise itu,sayang.
saya bukan wanita sembarangan,
yang bisa kamu goda lalu tinggalkan.
saya juga bukan wanita gampangan,
yang saat kamu dekati,langsung bisa kamu dapatkan.
tapi tahukah kamu,saya juga punya perasaan.
jangan pernah kamu mencoba menggoda bila akhirnya akan pergi juga.
sadarkah kamu,saya juga bisa terluka?
katakan sayang,apa yang harus saya lakukan,
bila debar hati ini sudah tidak dapat berkompromi,
dengan akal dan pikiran.
lalu katakan sayang,apa yang harus saya lakukan,
bila hati ini sudah terlanjur kamu genggam namun kamu campakkan dan kamu tendang ke dekat gudang.
saya mau kamu katakan sayang,apa yang harus saya lakukan,
bila saat saya mencoba melupakan dan memulihkan,kamu sudah berada di dekat perempuan lain di depan mata kepala saya.
saya hancur,tapi berusaha bangkit.
salah seorang teman berkata :
'' bosan ku dipermainkan cintamu ''
berulang ulang ia katakan sampai saya pusing dan mabuk kepayang.
kata kata itu merasuk bagaikan asap,membuat saya tersugesti.
membuat saya terus berkata bosan ku dipermainkan cintamu.
kamu boleh pergi,sayang.
kamu sudah tidak saya butuhkan.
biarkan saya tenang dan mengambil pelajaran,
lain kali janganlah mudah dibohongi.
larilah sayang,lari yang kencang.
sampai putus nafasmu,sampai hilang bau keringatmu dari hadapan,
agar saya tahu,kali ini tidak ada lagi harapan.
jika kamu membaca ini,kamu boleh mencibir dan menertawakan,
saya akui,saat itu saya lengah sehingga mudah terjatuh dalam jebakan,
tapi lain kali sayang,saya akan membuat kamu merasakan,
perasaan yang sama namun rasanya berjuta kali lebih menyakitkan.
maki saya sayang,maki saya.
bilang saya murahan.
bilang saya bajingan.
bilang saja,perkataan kami wanita memang tidak bisa dipegang.
kalau menurut kamu semua wanita seperti itu,
dengan senang hati saya bisikkan ke telingamu sayang,
bahwa saya bukan.
Tuesday, .........
broken habits
when you had your heart broken into pieces,then what would you do?
are you listening to one love song over and over again?
are you keep your eyes wide open at night,wondering what is he doing there.
are you keep checking his virtual acoount and whisper confusely when he sign in.
are you faking your smile only to make people know that you're perfectly fine?
are you trying to avoid that person but when you meet him accidentally,your body turned into jelly and you wish that the floor will eat yourself?
are you crying out loud when you know there's no one watch you?
are you?
cause i am.
are you listening to one love song over and over again?
are you keep your eyes wide open at night,wondering what is he doing there.
are you keep checking his virtual acoount and whisper confusely when he sign in.
are you faking your smile only to make people know that you're perfectly fine?
are you trying to avoid that person but when you meet him accidentally,your body turned into jelly and you wish that the floor will eat yourself?
are you crying out loud when you know there's no one watch you?
are you?
cause i am.
first day
i wiped my tears for a thousand times today.
trying to look stronger than ever but badly i failed
i didn't act well today, no matter how i try to camouflage my true feeling, i can't hide the bitterness.
it appears,
in my smile,
in every words,
in every little things i did.
i wrote "HELLO" word on my left hand and "BYE" word on my right hand, i only waved my hand when i should say something to anyone.
they laughed at me.
and it shocked me enough.
even i did it on purpose to show my fvcking mood so they don't have to disturb me, they can't get my idea.
i'm still their clown who told jokes all the time.
i went back home faster than usual,
avoiding you,
avoiding people,
and i felt relax when i'm here in front of the computer watching "before sunrise" and seeing my friends signing in to their msn account.
they say 'hi'
i stared it without any guts to write back or whatsoever.
i continue to watch before sunrise,
now i'm friggingly wanna sign out,
he might sign in anytime
and i can't stand the pain to see his name in my friends list.
i am not your second choice, so you can tease and leave.
i am not your wonder girl, so you can hurt anytime you want
i am not yours,
you're not mine,
we were never meant to be
trying to look stronger than ever but badly i failed
i didn't act well today, no matter how i try to camouflage my true feeling, i can't hide the bitterness.
it appears,
in my smile,
in every words,
in every little things i did.
i wrote "HELLO" word on my left hand and "BYE" word on my right hand, i only waved my hand when i should say something to anyone.
they laughed at me.
and it shocked me enough.
even i did it on purpose to show my fvcking mood so they don't have to disturb me, they can't get my idea.
i'm still their clown who told jokes all the time.
i went back home faster than usual,
avoiding you,
avoiding people,
and i felt relax when i'm here in front of the computer watching "before sunrise" and seeing my friends signing in to their msn account.
they say 'hi'
i stared it without any guts to write back or whatsoever.
i continue to watch before sunrise,
now i'm friggingly wanna sign out,
he might sign in anytime
and i can't stand the pain to see his name in my friends list.
i am not your second choice, so you can tease and leave.
i am not your wonder girl, so you can hurt anytime you want
i am not yours,
you're not mine,
we were never meant to be
Monday, ....
worst
i put on my happy mask again after didn't wear it for almost 2 months.
i found myself got hard to breathe last night.
i found myself cried slowly when i call my friend.
i found myself felt so empty and sick because of that fucking lies and euphoria.
then i found you were walk away.
i need your reasons,i need your best answers.
i need all of you to be a part of myself.
oh i need to cry right now,bye home,i'm gonna act as a hollywood actress at school.
don't worry i'm smiling,let me cry inside my heart.
i found myself got hard to breathe last night.
i found myself cried slowly when i call my friend.
i found myself felt so empty and sick because of that fucking lies and euphoria.
then i found you were walk away.
i need your reasons,i need your best answers.
i need all of you to be a part of myself.
oh i need to cry right now,bye home,i'm gonna act as a hollywood actress at school.
don't worry i'm smiling,let me cry inside my heart.
Thursday, .................
need a repair
say hello to this messy-shitty-life!
i don't know,they said things like going perfectly fine for me,
in contrary,i feel so bad,wasted,empty.
i laughed a lot,but cried much more.
i enjoyed my day but cursed most of my time.
i'm fully thankful for you God,for gave me this funny family and wonderful friends.
but there's a missing part,for God's sake i dont know what it is.
just like what i talked with velly,there's an empty feeling that appeared when i'm in a crowded place.
i can say i hate it,but i can't deny that nothing's happened.
and today is my lowest point,i'm weak and sick and tired.
first problem : it will always be love love love fucking love,i'm getting more confused with my own feeling.
second prob : the person who used to be one of my best,she lost my highest respect,sorry girl but you hurted me,you know i tried to stay with you,but what have you done?
third prob : i really wanna do the packing as fast as possible,lets move dear mom and dad,i can't stand it,i hate being in this place and see what i shouldn't see,i'm scared!!!! they started to disturb me.
i guess there's still a lot of probs,but truthfully i can't tell anyone.
i hate my course's days.hate the internet.hate the crowds.hate the eat out thingy.hate the hang out schedules.
hate myself most.
i don't know,they said things like going perfectly fine for me,
in contrary,i feel so bad,wasted,empty.
i laughed a lot,but cried much more.
i enjoyed my day but cursed most of my time.
i'm fully thankful for you God,for gave me this funny family and wonderful friends.
but there's a missing part,for God's sake i dont know what it is.
just like what i talked with velly,there's an empty feeling that appeared when i'm in a crowded place.
i can say i hate it,but i can't deny that nothing's happened.
and today is my lowest point,i'm weak and sick and tired.
first problem : it will always be love love love fucking love,i'm getting more confused with my own feeling.
second prob : the person who used to be one of my best,she lost my highest respect,sorry girl but you hurted me,you know i tried to stay with you,but what have you done?
third prob : i really wanna do the packing as fast as possible,lets move dear mom and dad,i can't stand it,i hate being in this place and see what i shouldn't see,i'm scared!!!! they started to disturb me.
i guess there's still a lot of probs,but truthfully i can't tell anyone.
i hate my course's days.hate the internet.hate the crowds.hate the eat out thingy.hate the hang out schedules.
hate myself most.
Wednesday, .......
Friday, ...............................
best addiction
which one is better :
LOVE
or
CHOCOLATE
both will make us go ow ow i guess hahaahhaa
1. chocolate
it contains Phenylethylamine so usually we felt happy after we eat that.
some people thought that it has the same feeling like when we fall in love.
so they said that eat chocolate is way much better than falling in love
actually nobody can resist chocolate, i mean come on this is chocolate, i really can grab it without feeling so sad at all (except the part of thinking "how's with my diet")
and it won't hurt like love.
2. love
so did you ever felt so worry about anyone without you know the reason?
did you realized when your heart start to beat so fast when you're near with someone that catch your attention lately?
well maybe you're in love..
it will hurt, you know that.
but you just can't stop right?
it's addictive just like chocolate,
when you worrying about your diet in 'chocolate-case'
then you will worry about your own feeling here..
maybe you scared to lose this person.
maybe you didn't want to get hurt.
maybe you didn't want to be left behind.
the feeling that you won't feel if you choose chocolate
and let me say that it's different.
i don't like being in a relationship,its true.
but i can't avoid to be fall in love.
nobody could.
its like a magnet, its like a destiny that you can't resist.
it's like.....
heaven.
no matter what they said about love, you just can't stop falling
because yes love does exist..
now it's all your choice,
LOVE
or
CHOCOLATE
both will make us go ow ow i guess hahaahhaa
1. chocolate
it contains Phenylethylamine so usually we felt happy after we eat that.
some people thought that it has the same feeling like when we fall in love.
so they said that eat chocolate is way much better than falling in love
actually nobody can resist chocolate, i mean come on this is chocolate, i really can grab it without feeling so sad at all (except the part of thinking "how's with my diet")
and it won't hurt like love.
2. love
so did you ever felt so worry about anyone without you know the reason?
did you realized when your heart start to beat so fast when you're near with someone that catch your attention lately?
well maybe you're in love..
it will hurt, you know that.
but you just can't stop right?
it's addictive just like chocolate,
when you worrying about your diet in 'chocolate-case'
then you will worry about your own feeling here..
maybe you scared to lose this person.
maybe you didn't want to get hurt.
maybe you didn't want to be left behind.
the feeling that you won't feel if you choose chocolate
and let me say that it's different.
i don't like being in a relationship,its true.
but i can't avoid to be fall in love.
nobody could.
its like a magnet, its like a destiny that you can't resist.
it's like.....
heaven.
no matter what they said about love, you just can't stop falling
because yes love does exist..
now it's all your choice,
LOVE or CHOCOLATE?
Thursday, ...........
journey to the future
But I had to let go of the pain Let love rain
down on me
Cause you helped me open up my eyes Show me things I could never
see
Cause we can fight and we make up
Wanna see you when I wake up,
I'm staying with you only
Cause I need you to show me how our love
should really be
you want me to go? yes i will
and after that fucking-let-go-times
falling in love is so worth to wait
then the circle will always be like that
until you find the right one
in the right time
and i guess there'll be no more journey to the past
Monday, ........
my mouth can't say, my heart willi really want to tell you the truth,
i really want to be the only one to say;
good luck for your final test,
when you said you're having one today
pardon my ungrammatical words, but i can't be a straight forward person
i did remind myself that we used to be a storiette,
it is no longer what it should be
because it's already sixteen months,and i can't guarantee when will this end
once in these sixteen months you tell me i will be fine,
that's when i got my weakest hypochondria,
you never tell me any love songs, me either
but that day, your care-ness is praiseworthy
you made me fall further, and i failed to unfetter myself,
from you
oh yes i'm tired,
with the silence and uncertainty
you didn't even think to increase the speed
to give me a stable place and a heart to hold on
please let's be honest,
i'm adapting with my new world, you're flirty with others, we both got that.
i'm lying to myself, you're lying to me, we realized that
but i love you still, and you do too.
it doesn't sound fair, but nothing is fair when it comes to love
i really want to write it all over again,
and tell you "just because i'm busy doesn't mean i don't love you"
i will share you my weakest times, so you don't have to wait for cheering me up
and maybe we can learn how to love and to be loved rightly this time
i really want to tell you the truth,
good luck for today
kamu diam,
waktu kuajak bicara sopan
rasanya semua pertanyaan sudah berlompatan,tapi tak satupun berkembang jadi pembicaraan
diam,senyum,lalu diam lagi
tidakkah kamu tahu sulitnya aku merangkai kata kalau sudah seperti ini?
lagi lagi kamu diam,
waktu aku meminta adanya keputusan
karena aku mau jalan terus,karena waktu telah memaksaku kembali berputar
kamu masih diam,
bukan iya ataupun tidak yang keluar,
aku kembali duduk,menunggu sampai hening itu terpecah lagi
coba lisankan.....
apa,bagaimana,dan juga mengapa.
kata-kataku tidak akan pernah ada habisnya untuk menjawab
dari kalimat terpendek sampai hal sebab-akibat
coba lisankan agar pendengaranku kembali tajam,dan dudukku kembali nyaman
biar angin tidak lagi menarik tanganku untuk keluar
kamu selalu diam,
tapi diam-mu bukanlah emas
diam-mu tanda ketidakpastian,
juga menandakan ketidaksiapan,
untuk menetap dan memberi harapan
hati-hati,
diam-mu sudah merobek hatiku.
waktu kuajak bicara sopan
rasanya semua pertanyaan sudah berlompatan,tapi tak satupun berkembang jadi pembicaraan
diam,senyum,lalu diam lagi
tidakkah kamu tahu sulitnya aku merangkai kata kalau sudah seperti ini?
lagi lagi kamu diam,
waktu aku meminta adanya keputusan
karena aku mau jalan terus,karena waktu telah memaksaku kembali berputar
kamu masih diam,
bukan iya ataupun tidak yang keluar,
aku kembali duduk,menunggu sampai hening itu terpecah lagi
coba lisankan.....
apa,bagaimana,dan juga mengapa.
kata-kataku tidak akan pernah ada habisnya untuk menjawab
dari kalimat terpendek sampai hal sebab-akibat
coba lisankan agar pendengaranku kembali tajam,dan dudukku kembali nyaman
biar angin tidak lagi menarik tanganku untuk keluar
kamu selalu diam,
tapi diam-mu bukanlah emas
diam-mu tanda ketidakpastian,
juga menandakan ketidaksiapan,
untuk menetap dan memberi harapan
hati-hati,
diam-mu sudah merobek hatiku.
low low low
but don't wanna stop stop stop
low stop low stop
i don't mind the Gap, don't you feel it too?
high high high
let me make it mine mine mine
high is mine high is mine
your un-mainstream ideas, would you share it too?
it is so wrong, i know
but my heart is yearning for so long
so please be nice to me, i wanna feel it a little bit longer.
with somebody who has a stop signal on his forehead
but don't wanna stop stop stop
low stop low stop
i don't mind the Gap, don't you feel it too?
high high high
let me make it mine mine mine
high is mine high is mine
your un-mainstream ideas, would you share it too?
it is so wrong, i know
but my heart is yearning for so long
so please be nice to me, i wanna feel it a little bit longer.
with somebody who has a stop signal on his forehead
Once again I’ll be the foolish oneThinking a blink of these lashes would make you come
Don’t you worry, don’t get in a state
I don’t believe in true love anyway
Who’s being pessimistic now
I could document this as our first, as our last row
The more you look forlorn, the more to you I warm.
Don’t you worry, don’t get in a state
I don’t believe in true love anyway
Who’s being pessimistic now
I could document this as our first, as our last row
The more you look forlorn, the more to you I warm.
four days to go, but i can surely say :
if only i could skip this birthday.
i want nothing, except the sadness to go away
the regretness to not forever stay
the happiness to come my way
i want no cakes; they are too sweet
i want no greetings; they are too fake
i want no surprises; they made me sad
here, have a little taste of my tears
with a lot of drama, do you think i still can make a wish?
do you think i want some gifts?
will you skip the november 8th for me dear Lord?
